Chapter 1

Wandering around the woods, sliding her fingers over the wet moss as she tracked the movements of a squirrel through the rustling leaves, seeing the beautiful birds chirping, and trees as green as they could be, “Ahhh! It was a fine spring morning.” She murmured. There was a breath of spring in the air, but the primroses were out, and the lake was calm as though the air had been holding its breath just waiting till she came on board. In some distance came the creak of a gate to interrupt the silence. Touching the fresh flowers and gazing at the clean water in the lake, she noticed that one blossom had already floated away on the water, a fragment of beauty turned to ash in its prime. Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice moving towards her. She had her eyes closed, and he appeared, having his hands on her eyes. “Oh, babe! Did you wake up? I wish you had a peaceful sleep last night.” She said, removing his hands from her eyes and holding them in hers. He smiled, kissed her, and started walking by her side. “How can I not sleep well when I’ve got such a pretty girl as my wife who loves me enough that she does everything I need?” He asked her. She had a soothing and gorgeous smile on her face that illuminated her face like the shining sun. Her dark eyes used to sparkle when he held her hand and appreciated her. Dark red-brown eyes, little perfect thin lips, round face and long neck, fair complexion, and hazel brown hair, indeed a perfect beauty that could have enchanted Hummain. “You know I can’t sleep without you, without having seen your face, my day feels incomplete, and I’m thankful to Allah that I got my love as my husband”, Aniyah replied. He laughed, and they walked towards home, holding hands. Hummain was a perfect boy but a flawed one; he had drowsy eyes which could make anyone fall for him, luscious lips, a long neck, perfect height, and a healthy physique. Indeed, he was the beauty who could charm anyone with his handsome features. Hummain smiled that ill-humored way of his, but it took him a long time to rub his eyes open. The sunlit morning fell on her hair–hazel-brown, like the autumn wheat, and a look seemed to come into his eyes, as though he might be losing someone or something. After reaching home, she prepared breakfast and served him. “How long are we gonna live alone? Even without your parents, why don’t we invite them here to live with us? “ She questioned. “We will call ’em soon, honey! Don’t you get worried?” He said. “But you know I’m afraid to live alone,” She replied. Seeing her in despair, he said: “Don’t you dare to think that you’re alone! Don’t you dare to think that you’re alone. Keep thinking about me, Lauv! I’ll be back soon.” He said goodbye and went towards his car, kissing her head before departing. There was more to the quiet of the lake than drifting clouds behind, one at a time, dark and slowly deliberate, as though it foreknew that the fondling glee of the season would not long continue. The wind was sharp as a breath, but it was warm all morning, and it died once more, and the woods were very still. Once a thrush in the hedge called, but stopped in its song, as though it had caught sight of something invisible. In the distance, a gate creaked, closed without a hand on it. Aniyah shivered, and she could name no reason, though it was still sunny. A petal had fallen off the primrose she had touched that morning, and they strewed a path to the ground without a sound. She saw it, and with a certain sense of troubled astonishment, she gripped her hand tighter in Hummain.

Chapter Two

And when he left, Aniyah fell into her world of reverie, into which memories and imaginings went down like threads of a dream. She remembered how beautiful the union was that had discovered no definite outset. Never could I have dreamed that I would ever marry you! Who would have thought you would go in cities- bid farewell to what was known–all that was dear- just to me? Who believed that you’d come far away, to a distant city, just for me?? Just for my love and care?? Oh!! I can’t imagine my life without you, dear husband. I miss the beauty of our meeting — the first blush of the rose that bloomed without wind or shade, before life took its ashes and scattered them. Love at first sight??? She thought of the first encounter of their eyes, not in the thunderclap of that conception which no poet ever admitted to be the love of the first sight, but with a quiet sense of recognition that begins, and knows not that it begins, to nurture itself into assiduity. Then, so very ordinary to her face, by slow degrees it had become a face that she liked best of all others. She recalled how once he had questioned her name, with a note of such interest in his voice she almost thought it was an imperative, and how, though she was always cautious, she had shown her face to him, without thinking who he might be or out of what place he had come.

But, she said to herself, it was not a love in the ordinary sense; love, if only afterward understood, in its completeness, is so easily lost by the fulfilment of itself. Instead, it was the silent worship of a soul who had found her own, even in the months when he had nothing to say to her, and when he was away. But at that time, there was treatment at hand–nights of sleeplessness, doubts she dared not voice: Does he love me? Will he ever visit me? Is my smile in him, or is it spread all over? The beauty of our relationship was that we never planned our future, which made me worry about us. Many sleepless nights, many queries, many qualms, does he love me??? Will he ever come for me?? Does he talk to other girls the way he talks to me? Does he cherish their presence as he does mine??? Why is he so quiet and busy all the damn time? Will he ever come to marry me? What if he is only flirting with me??? And so on…  Your smile, I used to think, is it ever mine or does it belong to others as well?? But leave, his heart is beautiful, and so is he. Shouldn’t I have been thinking all the time about these silly things and keep doubting you and your feelings, or lest I should have gone mad! But YOU came for me. Countless nights and uncountable moments, I spent them all with you. I craved your love, your arms, your touch, and I wanted to feel you just because I wanted to touch your soul. I prayed to Allah, and so did you. But there he was. His prayers, she thought, had met those which she sent to Allah. She repeated his words as though they were shaking in the air: Oh Allah! I wish that my other half of faith could be finished with her, and I could live out the rest of my life with her. Keep her off just to myself.” And those words had steadied her heart through the times of waiting, and they stayed in her mouth as evidence of the depth that she had not dared to trust. I wish I could tell you how lucky I am to have you… Your face charmed me, and your voice seemed magically soothing. I haven’t seen anyone as beautiful as you. Your smile made me the happiest person ever, and Charm, I loved you as I have never loved anyone else.”, smiling and tears crawling on her face towards her cherry lips, making her look even more beautiful. Her mind was lost in the sound of the loud ringing of the telephone as it broke the silence.

Said his voice, in a tone I did not like, the least bit, at the time: “Missing me?”

Yes, but no–because I never forget you, was her answer.

How much? said he.

It had more done, she said, than you ever will.

He chortled. And then, as you say, you miss me more, and smile and say I am beautiful.

That call passed, and he went to attend a meeting.

The cloudy sky seemed to be roaring, darkness prevailing everywhere, perhaps nature knew something worse was going to happen. After the meeting, he went for dinner with his new colleagues. He forgets that he asked Aniyah to wait for him at dinner. He had never been late coming home after their marriage. It was surprising for Aniyah. He switched off his phone as he was busy. Grief-stricken, she couldn’t help herself because she knew nothing about his office and didn’t have any other contact information to make a call. She started praying because she loved him and didn’t want to lose him. The hands of the clock pointed to midnight. Not a bit of him yet. Then her thoughts started moving steadily along those tracks: He knows that I am afraid of the darkness; he knows that I can not sleep alone. Has anybody been in a crash? There was some trouble on the road? Her fingers were clawing the telephone against her hand like she could will it to ring, the silence building upon the walls. Her dinner plans for them were lying on the table in ruin. Suddenly, in an impulse of frustrated, blind anger, she cast aside a dish which struck loudly on the floor of the silent house.

She rang and rang–without being able to answer–until that hollow feeling in her chest grew larger and larger. There, outside the windows, the sky was already absorbing its final flicker of light. Off in the distance, a dog was barking, and then it stopped. Her senses could not hear alone; the night listened with her. “He never turned off his phone, he knows I can’t live without him, he knows I’m afraid of darkness, he knows I’ll not be able to sleep without him all alone in this home, no, I can’t!!!!! “, smashing everything she said. “What if something had happened to him? An accident? Oh no!! It can’t be.!!!  Come on, pick up my call!! “, crying, she murmured. Perhaps it was the little foreshadowing of nature to let her know what’s going to be done with her in the future. Time went by, and the only measure of the minutes was the gentle, methodical tick of the clock, each tapping louder, in the stillness.

The shadows on the walls grew darker and stretched out until they looked like silent companions in the pale light. The wind moaning against the shutters with a low, restless sigh, charged with the odour of damp earth and far rain, was outside. And a distant church bell was chiming the hour, but its low note was lost in the humming noise of the night. Away above the invisible hills, a low rumbling of thunder rumbled on–then back it went–as though the storm were waiting. Aniyah was at the window, her fingers clasped on the windowsill, her eyes staring out along the shred of roadway that stretched into the night. And here and there, a moving shadow would cause her heart to flutter with hope, and then it would be the wind fluttering the branches or the swaying of a lantern in some distant home. There might be something approaching her life–slowly–inflexibly–as a tide against which one could not dam it–somewhere behind her where she could not see. And even though she did not get a name for it, Aniyah instinctively sensed its proximity in her soul.